Things I’ve learned that helped me see grief as a precious gift:
- Grief is love. This was the shift for me. It sounds like an inspirational cliché, but it’s true, and when I finally allowed the truth of it to change my mind, it changed my perspective.
- Empathy is powerful. I’ve heard the term “misery loves company” used as a negative most of my life, but in reality, the miserable don’t want others to be miserable, we just need the comfort in knowing that we aren’t alone. I’ve had some beautiful interactions with people in the last few months, some who were currently grieving, and others who’ve known grief in the past.
- Face it and embrace it. I’ve taken time every morning to face my grief and to wrestle with my feelings. It was never about not feeling sad, or not being angry. Those feelings, all of them, I embraced, because it was ok to feel them. Learning to lean into those feelings, to allow them to be present and give my heart and mind the ability to process them, instead of stuffing them and acting like everything was fine, has been important.
That’s not everything, there is much more, but these three things were instrumental in being able to recognize the gift of grief, to gain clarity and to validate my love for my brother and the impact his death has had on me as a person, because I love him. He’s my brother.